Sw-eeeet!

New found freedom never tasted so sweet. I feel so liberated right now I think I can shoot past the stratosphere like a cannonball.

As promised, here I am today at my blog on the beautiful 8th of December 2009, officially set free from all ties of Sijil Pelajaran Menengah, the major exam taken by most Malaysian high school students before they 'begin the next chapter of their life'. That's how most people put it anyway.

The moment the clock struck 3.30 p.m. today, indicating the end of my very last chemistry paper (and SPM!), I could instantly feel so much weight being lifted off my shoulders. Walking out of the examination hall for the last time felt so good. Returning the text books to school felt so good. Receiving my 'sijil berhenti sekolah' felt so good. Everything just felt good. And that feels good.

Most part of me is so glad to be finally over and done with high school life. There's so much to dread about it, and I think I'm ready for a change of surrounding. Yet, I know I'm going to miss my five years at RZ dearly. Five years! I've never studied at a school for such a long period of time. As much as I long for my earlier years of homeschooling and the freedom it had given me, these five years at RZ have provided me a stable environment to grow in my self-esteem and to develop really meaningful friendships that I'll (hopefully) treasure for life.

There were multiple catty dramas along the way among my best friends, but these were the things that would ultimately make us more compromising and understanding of each other...in most cases. In other cases, friends decided to go their separate ways. Of course, these were the fall-backs that I wished had never happened, but I guess putting me on a bumpy road to travel on is God's way of moulding me into someone more mature. As disappointing and hurtful as failures are, I have learnt to accept them better as they come my way.

High school has made me just that little bit less shy, to be able to strike up random conversations with people. I used to have so much difficulty with that that I ended up confining myself in a world of my own. Then there were the self-discoveries. I have learnt to love myself more and stop being so critical of myself at all times. Teachers and friends have pointed out the good qualities in me, which I have to admit means a huge deal to me. I have learnt to appreciate other people's gifts too.

While these all are a whole lot of mostly sweet memories that I'm quite reluctant to leave behind, and the thoughts of being exposed to a new world in the months to come can be pretty intimidating, I'm excited about the future. And I'm loving life.

This marks the end of my high school chapter.